Let’s face it, men. While you may have a high sex drive and a passion for chastity and other fetishes, your wife or partner may not. But that doesn’t mean that all hope is lost; you may just have to start a little slower and make sure to not push your desires on her too much or too hard.
Of course that might be easier said than done in some cases, especially when you’re starting out on something as sexy as male chastity. We want to help you achieve your dreams, however, so we’ve compiled a list of things you should consider when starting chastity with an apprehensive keyholder.
Start with Low Energy
One mistake that we’ve heard happen many times is when the man gets so worked up and turned on first locked in a chastity cage that they overwhelm their keyholder. The men go overboard with their sexual energy and trying to get their keyholders to engage and interact with them and their cages. Doing so can QUICKLY annoy and aggravate your keyholder even to the point where they no longer want to be a part of it.
Stay calm and try to control yourself and your energy. It’s okay to enjoy it, but consider keeping it to yourself until they have become more used to it and accepting of it.
Have Realistic Expectations
You’re not going to turn your partner into your mistress or dominatrix overnight. In fact, you may never get them to be all that into male chastity at all. Consider how you think your partner will react to the idea of being your keyholder and set your expectations accordingly. Hopefully they grow to like it and get into it more, but just don’t assume so and get disappointed if they don’t.
We know plenty of couples where the woman just takes the key and locks it up until she wants to use her man’s dick and doesn’t interact with the cage otherwise. It may sound dull, but the men still love it and have fun with it!
Read Your Keyholder
This is similar to the first point with overwhelming your keyholder by coming on too strong. Read/Know your keyholder and if they want to and how much they want to talk about your new kink. If you get obsessed with it and start talking about it constantly, you’re going to annoy them and turn them off from the idea of chastity. It’s very possibly that she doesn’t want to think about your cage constantly and that’s okay. Let her be the one to bring it up and tease you about it. It will be more fun for both of you that way.
Don’t Complain About Lack of Attention
Part of male chastity is accepting whatever your keyholder decides for you not matter if that’s a little attention to you and your cage or a lot. You will likely want more no matter how much your keyholder gives you, but this rule of chastity is important to remember and honor. No complaining allowed (especially if she was apprehensive about chastity to begin with). Take what you can get and make the most out of it.
This rule also applies to complaining about not getting unlocked. That is the biggest no-no of chastity!
Do as You’re Told!
If your keyholder is suddenly feeling powerful with your chastity key and decides to assign you a chore or to punish you… do as you’re told! Don’t try to negotiate or make it something you like more. If you want her to continue participating then you need to do whatever she wants you to in order make her happy and feel the power of being a keyholder. This is key to continuing and growing your chastity relationship!
Don’t Scope Creep
If your partner is on the fence about male chastity in general and you have the goal of expanding chastity into something bigger like becoming a sissy or cuckold, don’t push those extra desires before she’s ready. This is another way to quickly overwhelm them. Take things slow and when they’re starting to warm up to chastity and like it, then consider introducing your long term goals for your chastity relationship.
Share Articles with Them
Help them help you! Below are links to some of our articles targeted to help keyholders with chastity. Share them to help them learn more about male chastity and the fun they can have as a keyholder!
- Getting Started with Male Chastity
- Chastity Training Tips for Keyholders
- How to Be a Chastity Keyholder
- Expanding Your Chastity Relationship with Femdom
- How Male Chastity Improved our Relationship
- Start Dominating Your Husband in Chastity
There’s definitely a theme to this article. Don’t overwhelm or push your keyholder too hard and too fast. Let them delve into the world of male chastity at their own comfortable pace. Give them time and be agreeable and chances are they will start to love it as much as you.
Have any questions? Let us know!